saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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