just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
