As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
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i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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