I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Randomize
