I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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