Where is the hickey?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
