Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
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I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
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i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
You are the jesus of drinking
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
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