I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
