peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
