Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
