I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
