I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Randomize
