Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
