My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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