Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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