You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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