Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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