I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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