This girl is more easily done than said...
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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