hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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