i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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