Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
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