i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
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