This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
