didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
this beer tastes like vomit already
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
