she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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