You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize