can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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