dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
