awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Randomize
