She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
