xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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