yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
