In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
