Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize