omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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