like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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