I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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