his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
