Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
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