Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
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