worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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