I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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