Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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