Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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