You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
NoShamevember. You game?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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