I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
and she was petting her beer can
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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