Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
