I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
