good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize