oh god the rape fog is back!
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
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