just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
