How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize