Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
