I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
That was an excessively violent trivia night
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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