Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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