I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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