I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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