He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
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I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
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What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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