They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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