its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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