i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
