i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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