I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
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