Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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