And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
